Jul 31, 2019 Society
A ubiquitous presence on New Zealand’s celebrity scene, Colin Mathura-Jeffree is an actor, model, TV host – and now agony uncle, for our Dear Metro advice column. Colin is dropping by for a few weeks, doling out sage advice with a little sprinkle of spice.
As our guest columnist, let Colin solve all your problems – and if your letter runs, you’ll be rewarded with a treat from his goody bag haul. To write in, email dearmetro@bauermedia.co.nz
Read last week’s Dear Metro advice: “Should I commit to my long distance relationship?”
Dear Colin,
My workmate has an unfortunate habit – he eats with his mouth open and I can hear the chewing from my desk. It drives me absolutely crazy, and even if I have headphones on I still feel like I can hear him chew. What do I do?! I can’t quite muster the courage to confront him – but should I? Or am I being too precious?
Help!!
Dear Precious,
I grew up with very strict food etiquette…if I wanted to anger my father I would chomp, chew and open my mouth full of food to my siblings. Now I reserve those disgusting behaviours to make my nephew (10) laugh at restaurants as is my duty as the naughtiest uncle. This is not just about manners its about correct behaviours and being respectful in company. You are not crazy. I think if it annoys you so much as to write to me about it, I’d sit opposite the person and imitate the behaviour… then watch his reaction.
The next letter is our LETTER OF THE WEEK! This week’s winner gets an Essano collagen Boost gift pack and a microdermabrasion voucher from The Cosmetic Clinic.
Dear Colin,
My boyfriend of eight months has told me he doesn’t like it when I don’t shave my legs often enough. Apparently “hairy legs just aren’t feminine” and he only thinks of women having smooth legs. He seemed quite grossed out by being brushed by my (not even very prickly) legs in bed. It really fucked me off but I do love him. Do I dump him, attempt to educate him or just let this one go?
Dear Prickly Legs,
Let’s start with the fact you love him.
Everything you do and say should have your final outcome in mind. If you love him you shouldn’t break up with him. I personally don’t like shaved legs… I love big muscular hairy legs… sorry… my mind wanders… annnnyway… he clearly has a 1950s view on women if he thinks females are hairless and must be perfect for him and his needs 100% of the time (cringe). What about your needs?
I’m sure he does “man-things” you’re grossed out by.
Until he respects your body as the Goddess you are, you should only gift him intimacy once freshly shaved, but a day later he cant touch you, until you decide when again you mow those legs of yours. It’s your body, your rules.
P.S has he shaved your legs? I have a friend that loves shaving his wife’s legs… How I know this? Wine talks.
Hi Colin,
I was wondering: when you have a friend who gossips a lot, does that mean they’re gossiping about you too? Asking for a friend……
Dear Weary Friend,
Absolutely. I have witnessed this on multiple occasions with people on the scene in Auckland, I find it disgraceful, all this tall poppy nonsense.
I have a no arseholes policy in life and openly handle these situations by allowing people to experience the consequences of weaving shade. Friend or not I condemn the motivation to spread hate. Anything negative I say about a person I would say to their face, because I’m a lot of things, but I’m not weak.
The trick is to let them share the poison, then allow the other players step forward and contribute…as you simply contact the person they’re talking about and pass the phone to the gossiper… with a BIG smile… don’t look away because the show has just taken an exciting turn!
Love
Colin
xx
To write in, email dearmetro@bauermedia.co.nz
