Oct 9, 2024 etc
Sweet things are nice and all, but they can also be harbingers of bad things like cavities and decay. At Metro, we endorse a balanced approach to sugary treats: by all means enjoy them, but make sure you brush properly, too. We also endorse the idea that practicality needn’t be devoid of enjoyment. So, for this issue, we have taste-tested toothpastes.
At first glance, the idea of tasting toothpastes seemed straightforward. However, in practice, it presented a bunch of logistical hurdles and muddle. One challenge was choosing from the many, many varieties of toothpastes available. Somewhat to our surprise, these go far beyond the traditional minty gels and pastes that might first come to mind when you think about grabbing a new tube. Over the course of my research, I spotted a $39 Italian variety and a $42 version flavoured with coriander and cucumber. I found one flavoured with sour rhubarb, another with pistachio. Even Aesop does toothpaste in a chic, minimalist tube ($23). Exciting, for sure, but probably not what most of us are using. We thought it would be more useful to review the bog-standard grocery versions.
So for this tasting, I bought our line-up of candidates from the two places I buy my own toothpaste: my local Woolworths and the Bulk Food Savings store in Mt Eden. Even narrowing it down to choices from two locations didn’t necessarily solve the issue of overwhelming variety. At the supermarket alone, there were more than 70 different tubes. To streamline the selection process, I excluded any priced over $10, specialised pastes (like Sensodyne), children’s toothpastes and those containing charcoal (because every dentist I’ve ever spoken to has warned against them).
There was also a lot of repetitive flavour overlap going on, so to avoid boring you, the reader, and putting our taste-testing panel through unnecessary pain, I omitted anything that seemed too close, while also aiming for representative coverage by brand. That left us with 19 toothpastes, which our panel of three — Metro editor Henry, art director Simon and me — tested at our desks. We used mugs of water, spit cups and our own toothbrushes, with bites of chocolate serving as palate cleansers. At the end of what turned out to be a gruelling ordeal, we sat in silence, our mouths, cheeks and tongues burning. All for the greater good of this city’s dental health, we hope.
BEST
White Glo Whitening Toothpaste Professional White
$9.99 for 115g (fluoridated)
The cheugiest packaging of the lot, which is more than made up for by a solid, classic mint flavour. We especially like the texture of the paste — robust enough to generate a good froth without that offensive, unwanted graininess.
GREAT
Colgate Total Mint Stripe
$5.49 for 115g (fluoridated)
This pastel-coloured gel-like paste makes a convincing argument for ‘occasion’ toothpaste. It has a gentle spearmint flavour that’s truly lovely but probably not going to aid in waking you up in the morning. However, sleepier flavours have an important role in dental hygiene, too — this would make an ideal bedtime toothpaste.
Ecostore Whitening with Fluoride
$5.99 for 90g (fluoridated)
You can tell this one isn’t made by Big Toothpaste. It’s distinctly upmarket-tasting — a muted mint enhanced by a touch of salt, encased in a chic off-white paste and virtuous-looking packaging. The teeth-brushing equivalent of sprinkling Maldon salt on your cheesecake.
Red Seal Complete Care Mild Mint
$4.49 for 100g (fluoridated)
Here, we meet another occasion toothpaste. This is just minty enough to leave you feeling fresh, but pared back enough that it won’t ruin your coffee.
Red Seal Propolis
$4.49 for 100g (non-fluoridated)
This clay-like paste (in both colour and texture) would be right at home in any household that appreciates earthenware ceramics, solid shampoo bars and nutritional yeast. Sure, it’s a little bit woo-woo (especially the absence of fluoride), but Red Seal has managed what we previously thought impossible in a supermarket toothpaste: a genuinely unique flavour (honey) that’s not disgusting. Bravo.
Vicco Vajradanti
$3.60 for 100g (non-fluoridated)
With its warm cinnamony roundness, this would make for an excellent midwinter brush.
Colgate Advanced Whitening Purple
$8.99 for 120g (fluoridated)
Perhaps the deep purple colour of this one should have been a hint, but its berry-mint flavour definitely took us by surprise. A touch of berry isn’t a bad thing, but it’s also something we think might get old quite quickly — perhaps best to save this one for special occasions or a post-red-wine brush (you’ll maintain a continuity of berry flavours, at least).
GOOD
Colgate Max Fresh Toothpaste with Mini Breath Hearts
$7.29 for 100g (fluoridated)
The technological leaps and bounds we’ve taken as a society that have made it possible to suspend tiny rainbow-coloured hearts in a pink gel toothpaste one can buy from a supermarket are quite remarkable. Points deducted, though, for a product this innovative that has so little intrigue in the flavour department.
PLEASANT BUT BORING
Colgate Max Fresh with Mini Breath Strips
$5.99 for 115g (fluoridated)
A classic and clean Colgate mint flavour that takes a small but unfortunate tastebud detour to hints of baking soda right in the middle of the brush, but is otherwise inoffensive.
Colgate Triple Action Original Mint
$3.49 for 110g (fluoridated)
An attempt at sophisticated nuance with the meld of peppermint and spearmint. Unfortunately, in the end result, both these mint flavours lose their distinctiveness.
BAD
Grants Fresh Mint with Tea Tree Oil
$5.50 for 110g (non-fluoridated)
Notes of nit cream and Byron Bay.
Red Seal Whitening Brilliant Mint
$5.39 for 110g (non-fluoridated)
Whoever designed this toothpaste was a stranger to the idea of cohesion. The paste itself is flecked with gold shimmery bits — so far so good. But for some reason, and despite being described as “Brilliant Mint”, it has floral properties. A toothpaste with an identity crisis.
Sarakan
$6.50 for 64g (non-fluoridated)
We like that this one pays homage to traditional dental care practices by incorporating Salvadora persica, a tree that has been used for centuries in the Indian subcontinent to keep teeth and gums healthy. However, the earthy, almost rhizome-like flavour didn’t resonate –– which potentially says more about our own societal conditioning than it does about this tube.
Colgate 2 in 1 Whitening Toothpaste and Mouthwash
$5.49 for 130g (fluoridated)
Just as a two-in-one shampoo-conditioner actively works against its own dual purposes, leaving you with the worst of both worlds, so too does this toothpaste-meets-mouthwash catastrophe. While it’s entirely unclear how the mouthwash half of the equation is meant to work (since it’s a gel), Colgate has managed to include the worst part of the mouthwashing process: the burn. Oh, and it’s soapy — perhaps it has a hand-washing function, too.
Macleans Protect Mild Mint
$3.69 for 170g (fluoridated)
A spearmint milkshake in toothpaste form: sweet, milky and makes you feel like you need to brush your teeth afterwards.
REALLY BAD
Red Seal Baking Soda Fresh Mint
$4.49 for 100g (non-fluoridated)
We can’t be too mad about how baking soda forward this is because Red Seal is completely upfront about it on the label, but still, it seemed excessive. Also quite gloopy.
Macleans Protect Fresh Mint
$3.69 for 170g (fluoridated)
Don’t be fooled by the iconic look of this blue, red and white paste — it doesn’t take long for it to foam into an unpleasantly sweet mouthful. As for the texture, it has that wispy, sloppy viscosity that is likely to result in the dreaded grimy toothpaste cap.
REALLY, REALLY BAD
Colgate Max Fresh Juicy Pine Lime
$5 for 100g (fluoridated)
“Oh no!”
Colgate Max Fresh Peach Passion
$5 for 100g (fluoridated)
A cruel trick of a toothpaste: a pleasantly fruity perfume that gives way to notes of vomit. Alarmingly disgusting.
