Feb 9, 2022 City Life
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
If you’ve been having power struggles in the workplace — which you inevitably always are — the full moon will help you to conquer and defeat these qualms in private. Remember, the holidays are almost here, and you won’t have to see these people for weeks anyway.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
The full moon eclipse in Taurus occurring this month will bring about powerful shifts in the dynamic of the home for every sign except for you Taurus. A good time to buy decorative wall hangings and explore a new streaming service.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
You’ll be at your most adaptable and hectic best this month as the new moon ushers in change to do with your home and living situation. Organise your eccentric belongings — like your collection of wood ornaments from that phase you had — and be ready to pick up a new lease on life. Invest in a new lounge suite and a suit.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
Mercury enters Scorpio this month, which means it’s a good time to communicate your wants and needs non-verbally. When Venus enters the sign of Capricorn, it will ask you to raise your standards in regards to romantic partners. In order to raise your standards you need to have some, so please get some.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
You may be feeling overlooked or in a creative block right now so take it out on your home. Decorate with violet fuchsia and gaudy golds. Force the members of your household to watch you re-enact scenes from Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen starring Lindsay Lohan. Don’t forget that, like Lindsay, you are always on the verge of a comeback.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
A change of home or workplace means your neurosis will have the opportunity to mutate like coronavirus on a bunch of new, unsuspecting minor characters in your life this month. Keep it together if you can. There is a great chasm between perfection and psychosis, and you meticulously build the bridge between the two.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
Finances tend to be a problem as you spent your whole bank account on archive designer and 54 glamorous meals out for your “birthday month” last season. Take a note from Taurus during the full moon eclipse and consider the benefits of stability. Consider a few nights in, and remember you’re not too pretty to wear a mask.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 22 Nov
You may find yourself taking inventory of all your grievances this month. Hold them dearly and arrange them into a freaky little shrine. Yes, everyone who has ever wronged you did it on purpose with malefic intent — even that snot-nose back at primary school who took the last black crayon. Take yourself out to a moody restaurant and eat an insect.
Sagittarius
23 Nov – 21 Dec
The sun has moved into your part of the sky, so harness that energy into forcing your friends with jobs to join you for a beach day in the middle of the week, or consider something more extreme like white-water rafting. If your friends won’t play nice, Sag season marks a good time to go to the zoo. The animals will act like animals. Invest in a set of turntables for the summer. Everyone loves your taste in music. It looks like you will have a full month of sunshine, so balance it out by taking up a new hot yoga class and pretend to read some dead philosophers or something. When the borders open up, no doubt Sagittarius will be the sign most likely to be all up in everyone’s grill like a happy puppy, but remember to social-distance.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
You may be finding yourself under stress this month but remember when you’re short with others, you only expose the fact that deep down — beneath your workaholic tendencies and mountain-goat exterior — you believe there is something short within yourself. It’s not true. You are better than everyone. Late December marks the start of Capricorn season, a cumulative celebration of all you have achieved in the year. Don’t skimp this Christmas. It’s time to flex with a Christmas tree full of Swarovski ornaments.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
After the new moon, new job opportunities may make themselves apparent to you. Ignore them and take it easy. Instead, line your ceramic ducks up and run up on them with a BB gun. A good time to take up unique and unusual hobbies.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
The weather is warming up, so make like the fish you are and drown in your remaining responsibilities for the year. Remember, everyone blames you for not breaking even in the time of Covid and for being unable to book a table at your boss’s preferred restaurant for your Christmas work do. Make them feel as bad as you do.
