Dec 16, 2014 etc
The city has spoken. Introducing the winners of our online poll for 2014’s sexiest man and woman in Auckland.
First published in Metro, December 2014.
Not long ago, finding somebody to sleep with in Auckland was a bit like buying a first house: most of the good ones were taken and the remainder were after somebody with more money than you.
Tinder has helped a bit, if only to provide a bit of temporary, largely substandard accommodation while the search continues, but even at its best it’s not very sexy. Like online dating before it, the app removes the serendipity and the fear of rejection essential to those early few encounters. Where’s the exhilaration when mutual attraction is verified before you even meet?
For single Aucklanders, the best sex is still often found in the last place you should be looking — among co-workers, flatmates, the friends of your exes. These people know you well enough to be moved by you — so much more of a rush than all the misreckons and projections of a stranger.
Sex is desire plus opportunity, and to be fair, if there’s enough of the former the latter can be worked out. But sexiness is just desire; even though our two sexiest Aucklanders are way out of your league, nobody can stop you fancying them.
Jeremy Wells may have as much raw presence as any man in the city. To be in the room with him is to be thinking about him — he has the x-factor that turns TV personalities into nudge-mum-at-the-cafe-scale celebrities.
He emerged in the 90s, almost perfectly formed, and after a few years spruiking for Big Energy in the ad breaks, now he’s back being hilarious in The Late Night Big Breakfast, and on Hauraki, where he wilfully ignores the past 30 years of consultant-led breakfast-show theory and does pretty much whatever he wants. Now that’s sexy.
He may look like the boy next door, but he’s capable of pure filth. And that’s a pretty good combo in 2014: somebody with good cologne, who knows just when to lean in and tell a girl exactly what he’s going to do to her.
Actor Frankie Adams is young, brown and beautiful. Shortland Street has made her famous, but those Bonds billboards have got her noticed. She’s even sexier on Instagram, where a picture of her drinking tea in the sun last month got a quick 5000 likes (okay, she was wearing a bikini).
So yeah, Frankie’s hot. But she’s also tough. How tough? On December 6, she’ll get into a boxing ring with Millie Elder-Holmes and the two women will spend nine minutes punching each other in the face and body. Underwear may be sexy, but not as sexy as a 20- year-old who can look any unwanted suitor in the eye and tell him to step the hell back.
