Jun 4, 2015 etc
This story first appeared in the April 2015 issue of Metro.
1. Try harder
Most people don’t put as much care into their relationships as they should, don’t work hard enough and don’t persevere long enough with their goals.
2. Hold the door open for everybody
Politeness is the angel of charm, and charm is the angel of success.
3. Eat real food
But not too much, and mainly greens. (Hat tip to author Michael Pollan.)
4. Allow your opponent their self-respect
In a dispute, work out what your opponent really needs to be satisfied, and find a way to give it to them. Then you’ll be free to get what you want.
5. All music sounds better loud
Live larger than you’re used to.
6 All bread tastes better warm
A little effort creates a lot of enjoyment.
7. Enjoy your treats
Don’t have that cup of coffee unless you can take the moment to savour it.
8. Everybody likes to be touched
In a good way.
9. Be kind
It is the greatest virtue.
10. Pluck those extraneous hairs
But don’t fret too much about the rest. A little grooming will make you feel good and others will appreciate it too. Too much grooming will fill you with constant anxiety and make others think you are shallow, untrustworthy and obsessed. Apply this principle to everything in your life.
Dreams that will always be dreams
We’re really sorry, but even at Metro we can’t tell you how to do everything. Some dreams are just that, dreams. You will never be liked by everyone all the time. You will never look perfect. Your children will not be perfect (and if you think they are, they’re fooling you or you’re fooling yourself, or possibly both). You will not be able to live through your children, either.
You will not be happier than you have a right to be, and you will never be as rich as you believe you ought to be. You will not always be in love. Almost nobody gets to be a rock star, or a movie star, or have mind-blowing sex whenever they want it (although of course there’s no harm in setting goals).
Also, you will never relive that one time you were so happy you thought you might be in heaven. Nor will you ever get back that one moment when you fucked everything up. You will always have to pay tax.
More ways to make your dreams come true in Auckland:
Photo by Chris Gin.
